My friend Sne showed me this video:
a) recounting of the steps that led to our love’s dissolution
b) mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies
c) penitent admission of wrongdoing
d) enumeration of my various transgressive actions (but why would she want to be reminded of how much of a jerk you are?)
e) my resultant lack of sleep and appetite
f) drop to my knees to elicit crowd response
g) modulation and I hold a high nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooote
Edit: I tried to apply this to David Guetta.
“vociferous expression of enjoyment
of the most stunning female form seen in recent centuries
pondering of the most respectful form of expressing approval
breathless growling of the words “sexy bitch”
reiteration of above main points by screaming “damn, girl!” “
Badminton today was particularly good. It is always good, but this time we had a couple of excellent rallies full of shots no one thought anyone else would get. It’s also quite ego-boosting to realize that you can hold your own (well, for two minutes) against two guys whose combined height is three times yours.
In the course of about four weeks, we’ve developed some awesome signature shots:
A’s Drop Shot
This is a prime example of the boy’s unfair height advantage. From this elevated position the birdie gets swatted down vertically, often to a point maybe two centimeters away from the net, while his befuddled opponents stop in their tracks and give him a look of mingled exasperation and grudging admiration.
G’s Slam Dunk
Being a person with negligible upper body strength, I am perpetually amazed at the power behind G’s shots. I think his best is the one where the opponent is standing stock still in the middle of the court, vaguely terrified, while a white blur blisters past and lands on the far line. So far he has refrained from hitting anyone in sensitive areas which is possibly even more impressive.
Everyone’s experienced this one before: the “What the [insert exclamation of choice] was that?!” You know exactly where the birdie is coming from, you’re moving smoothly into position, you raise your racket cunningly to deliver a shot no one will forget in years – and you miss. For no apparent reason.
G is a master of this shot. When he misses a shot, his lankiness (and I say this with every indication of friendly affection), combined with his forearm strength, occasionally lead to the Impressive Swooshing Noise phenomenon. I particularly love this because, for some reason, he also spins 360 degrees as he swings his racket around.
Down Down Down Down Downnnn
You start with hitting 5 feet above the net. Your opponent slams it back at 4.2 feet. You lean back a little to deliver the birdie sharply at 3.5 feet. You opponent demonstrates his agility by twisting himself to hit it back at 2.3 feet. You’re forced to drop to your knees to return the birdie at 1.6 feet. Your opponent, by cleverly lying flat on the floor, returns it an inch above the net. You’re so sure you can get this, so you imitate him – and the shuttle flies under the net and you’ve lost the match.
But I have decided never, under any circumstances, to watch East Asians play. You basically can’t see the birdie, they play that fast. Not only would I be instantly distracted, I would also lose all self-esteem when it comes to badminton. And this is definitely becoming one of my favorite ever things to do in the weekend 🙂