Happy Mayan End of Human Existence!

And a very happy New Year’s to everyone! If the Mayans got it right this is apparently the last Auld Lang Syne we’ll be singing, so I hope you’ve all finished those bucket lists.

 

Thank you, Internet. I hope the WWW hangs around long until after we all die; alien civilizations will find it such a treasure trove of amusement.

New Year’s didn’t start out particularly promisingly, but I have simply convinced myself that new years are just a result of the Earth flinging itself weariedly around the Sun one more time, so I refuse to attach any importance to them. If I were the kind of person to make resolutions — or rather, reaffirm the necessity to continue promising myself that I will improve — then these would be my resolutions:

1. Exercise more

2. Eat less

3. Learn more things

4. Continue to attempt to be a badass at everything.

1) has effectively not happened since Dec 31st since I have been too busy coding and then eating dinner ravenously, and 2) vanished when my family sent me an enormous box of 18 brownies which not even a recent collective debauched weekend hangout could diminish. 3) however is looking promising, since I have been completely felled by the awesomeness of Perl hashes. 4) makes for some excellent daydreams, which (unless I suddenly win the Nobel or become a caped vigilante hero) will be all it will amount to.

Still, it’s nice to dream. I have some ideas about what I should call myself, should I somehow acquire vast quantities of spandex and the huge ego that goes with the superhero complex. Right now I’m focusing on getting boots. I figure I’ll work my way upwards.

Not so secretly, however, I wish I could be some kind of travelling science-preacher. The number of cool things that have happened at the end of the year — the LHC thinks it’s found the holy grail of particle physics, someone else invented a way to hide an event in time by pretending it never happened — makes me extremely excited about this year and all the rest.

 

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